Write Me Some Sides

Richar Vernon: "Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night. That when I get older, these kids are going to take care of me."
Carl the janitor: "I wouldn't count on it."
--The Breakfast Club

In school days long past, students who behaved badly in class would serve time in detention. As part of detention, they would often be required to write a sentence over and over on the chalkboard such as "I will not shoot rubber bands across the classroom."

I remember having to write 'sides' (as in sides of paper: "Write me 5 sides...") aimed at sparking similar types of repetitive reform.

When Federal government officials are sworn into office, they promise to uphold the Constitution. Like those misbehaving students, government officials routinely break their promise. Were it up to me to meter out the penalty for such misbehavior, I might very well require each of them to write me some sides repeating their Constitutional oath: "I promise to uphold the Constitution."

Every time they break that oath, they would owe me more sides.

Today, for the first time in Congressional history, the Constitution was read aloud on the House floor. A symbolic gesture in some ways, I suppose, to mark the entrance of an incoming class of representatives that has expressed more interest in Constitutional behavior than in many years.

Upon further thought, though, it seems to me that the practice of routinely reading the Constitution on the House and Senate floors should be institutionalized. It is almost shameful that it currently isn't. Personally, I can't think of time better spent. Today's exercise quickly sparked debate about what exactly should be read (i.e., the original or amended versions) because some language seems no longer relevant (e.g., the 3/5 compromise--why has that language not been amended out?).

In fact, if I were Congressional Disciplinarian, I would require the Constitution to be read aloud on the floor once per week--maybe even daily--until Congresspeople demonstrated that their behavior was Constitutionally consistent.

Until that time, folks on The Hill would be writing me plenty of Constitutional sides.